Senator Wants Child Tax Credits Tied To Adorable Street Urchins Who Can Sing And Dance

Joe Manchin said Tuesday that he now wants Biden’s revamped monthly child tax credit restricted to insanely cheerful, adorable street urchins who really know how to crank out a good song-and-dance number.

Tying the child allowance to what he called ‘a little razzle-dazzle,’ would ensure federal assistance would flow to “the right people”.

“Don’t you think, if we’re going to help the children,” Manchin told senators, “that they should make some effort?”

Manchin has been consistently criticised for his ‘evolving position’ on renewing the credit, via ever more inventive objections.

“Gee,” the senator for West Virginia said, “I sure am trying to help the children?”

As a concession, he later told reporters, he’d even consider widening it to any kid who can do a decent cockney accent.

Bernie Sanders suggested he try singing, “I’m Reviewing The Situation”.

When Manchin looked blankly at him, Sanders sang the first two lines to him.

“A man’s got a heart, hasn’t he?

Joking apart – hasn’t he?”