Sinéad O’Connor Reportedly Strong Enough To Contemplate Another Two Week Marriage

Fans of the iconic Irish singer were intrigued to hear she has put her six bedroom home up for sale but the news has led to a complaint about the lack of a ‘trigger warning’ to accompany the announcement. The influential pressure group The Husbands of Sinéad O’Connor, issued a statement pointing out they were not given advance notice of the news.

The self funded group describes itself as a body which provides counselling and support for those traumatized by too close an involvement with the singer’s chaotic life. A less well known group, The Collateral Damage Victims of Sinéad O’Connor, have also lodged a complaint.

The victims are mostly a collection of middle aged musicians who claim they were ‘preyed upon’ by the singer during recording sessions, triggering a midlife crisis for each of them that led to the breakup of their marriages. Although this group includes some of the best known musicians in Irish traditional music, Ireland’s premier folk singer/songwriter Christie Moore, has yet to write a song about them.

Plans for Moore to headline a concert in support of both groups were at an advanced stage, when they had to be abandoned due to the global pandemic, leading one to bitterly remark, “We even suggested he could just rerelease one of his old hits? Ride On would have been perfect…” 

Yesterday the two groups announced they would merge, in order to meet a membership threshold for government funding. The new group which will simply be called The Fallout From Sinéad O’Connor, said it would continue to use O’Connor’s birth name, as it could not meet the expense involved in changing its stationery as often as she changed her surname.

“And it would take up too much room on a business card,” a statement said, “if we called ourselves The Fallout From Sinéad O’Connor/Mother Bernadette Mary/Magda Davitt/Shuhada’ Sadaqat.”

Taoiseach Micheal Martin again ruled out supporting the amalgamated group, claiming it would, “effectively amount to a tax on marriage”.

When contacted, a spokesperson for O’Connor said, “He means screwing”.