Man Planning To Pretend FTX Gift Vouchers Still Worth Something

Offaly man Gerry Coffee decided today he’ll pretend he didn’t realize the FTX gift voucher he bought as a Christmas present last month, is worthless.

“No way!” he imagined himself telling his sister–in–law Romy Flanagan when she opens hers on Christmas morning and loudly announces “You do know this is worth absolutely zero?”

“So you’re saying I’ve been swindled?” he would then follow up, making himself look like the real victim. “And the €25 I spent on a cryptocurrency gift card for you, is worthless! How can that be?”

She would reply sarcastically, he knew, with something like, “You didn’t notice FTX founder Sam Bankman–Fried being arrested for defrauding customers out of $1.8bn in what is unquestionably the biggest financial story of the year…”

“You know me, Romy,” he would then deadpan, “I never follow the business news”.