Number Of Houses Not Being Built Needs To Double

Irish landlords have called on the government to “think big this year” and miss a far bigger annual housing target than the ones that have been missed in recent years. This year, they say, the government will only miss its target of building 33,000 new houses but this is a number that needs to double.

“I think it was Samuel Beckett who said, ‘Miss again, miss bigger’,” the head of the Irish Landlords Association said. “We’re now calling on the government to show some imagination because if Ireland doesn’t miss building more houses, rents won’t double every month and many of us will be forced to go back into child-trafficking.”

“Just look at what Boris Johnson did? That was classic ‘big government’ thinking. He promised £350ml a week that was never going to be given to the NHS when everyone else was promising far less that was never going to be given to the NHS. We need more of his indomitable can’t-do spirit!”

Meanwhile, the Housing Minister, aka The Minister For Lip Service to Broken Promises, said he would address the housing crisis, just as soon as he’d finished his bubble bath.