Rupert Murdoch Says He Will Live To Be 184

92 year old Rupert Murdoch says he will marry his fiancé this summer and “We’re both looking forward to spending the second half of our lives together”. By this calculation, the billionaire media mogul expects to live to be 184. Media analyst have pointed to the dangers of a drawn out succession process with an ever expanding family of great and great-grandchildren, multiplying exponentially.

The happy couple, caught swimming in the Bahamas last week, are pictured above. A spokesman for Fox denied that Murdoch was overheard asking, “Why was my bathwater so cold?”

Murdoch’s child-bride is 66 year old Ann Lesley Smith who friends say, was taken aback by reports that he could live that long. Speaking by phone, she told a close friend she was starting to feel ‘panicky’ about the nuptials.

“I can’t talk now though,” she whispered, as Murdoch wobbled into the room, “because I can I feel old age creeping up on me?”