America Won’t Be Safe Until Your Gay Cousin Pretends To Be Straight Again – DeSantis

“America will not be safe,” Ron DeSantis said in Des Moines, “until your gay cousin pretends to be straight again and you pretend to believe him? Remember those days? Back before Bud Light went transgender!”

“Because as long as somewhere,” DeSantis continued, “a man is wearing a wig and a bra, maybe some heels and a dash of lipstick, you know in your hearts and souls, America will not be safe! And neither will your jobs or your wives or their orgasms!”

“As long as the gay bar in your neighbourhood stays open. As long as they insist on doing drag, I can’t govern! Don’t get me wrong? I’d sure love to but, y’know…priorities n’all that.“

A statement from the Des Moines Pride Center said, “We like Ron’s slogan, ‘Never Back Down‘? We like it so much, we’ve made it our motto!“