Irish Prime Minister’s Coronation ‘Quick Pick’

The symbolic gesture of Irish Prime Minister Leo Varadkar’s attendance at the coronation of King Charles III, was surpassed by the nonchalance with which he picked his nose as he ambled into Westminster Abbey.

Observers agree he displayed a level of aplomb that the massed ranks of royals, aristocrats, diplomats and bishops could only admire. While the great and the good from all corners of the globe strove to affect a solemn, authoritative demeanour, they say Varadkar exhibited a rare grace under pressure. “Not for him the furtive ‘burrow’,” one remarked.

The ‘quick pick’ largely escaped press attention however, as the media were keen to focus on the positive aspects of the event. Speaking off the record afterwards, an Irish government spokesman helpfully pointed to the 2019 example set by staunch brexiter and former Tory Leader Ian Duncan Smith. Duncan Smith, in a clip available online, can be seen to eat the retrieved contents of his nose as he sits in the House of Commons.

“A prime example of the low hanging fruit we were promised Brexit would provide.”