Woman Who Used Words “Breastfeeding Journey” Shunned By Friends

Local woman Emily Littleton, who used the words “my breastfeeding journey” during a coffee morning recently, has been widely shunned since. “We all have to deal with the everyday phoniness of phrases like, “Have a nice day”, former friend Gina Dale explained, “but ‘my breastfeeding journey?’ Jesus, I wanted to vomit when I heard that”.

Andrea Leslie, another member of the group, explained that “If she’d said it ironically, it would have been hilarious? But she really meant it and I’m sorry, life’s too short to re-educate somebody who talks like that.”

Katie Stockman agreed. “It’s not like it’s a first offence? She once said ‘the story of my pregnancy’ in such a pretentious way that I gagged.” Stockman who has an MA in Creative Writing, added that Littleton delivered it “like it was the title of a sensational new novel everyone was talking about?”

All three confirmed that Littleton was frequently seen wearing her Ugg boots outside the house, “even though everyone knows they’re for indoor wear only”.