Climate Activists Removed From Fossil Fuel Summit

“You don’t bring fire-fighters to an arsonists’ convention,” a fossil fuel lobbyist said today about the presence of hundreds of climate activists at COP28.

“It’s absurd,” he complained, “they simply can’t be trusted to lobby for fossil fuels. They’re costing energy companies enormous amounts of money. Money that would be better spent on getting oil and gas to the consumers that need them now more than ever, due to the extreme weather events we’re seeing and the frequency with which we’re seeing them.”

The fossil fuel lobbyist added that COP28 had been on track to be “a resounding success” for the energy sector, after Sultan Al Jaber, the president of COP28 spoke.

The Dubai ruler claimed a phase-out of fossil fuels would not allow sustainable development “unless you want to take the world back into caves”.

Climate activists immediately rebranded the conference #COPOUT28