Texas Republicans: We Can Forgive Trump Anything “But The Pimp Sneakers Have To Go”

Texas republicans this week said they could no longer remain silent on the big issue for the Lone Star state: “them Godawful pimp sneakers!”

Their statement said, “We can forgive him anything he’s done or ever will do but if he wants to do bidness in these here parts, he better not be wearin’ them?”

The development is being hailed as a rare victory for taste over trash, in Texas history.

When asked to clarify exactly what it was they disliked about them besides their low quality and tacky appearance, one said, “Down here we got a word for a white man who ain’t wearing cowboy boots and that’s a Democrat!”

“A man can’t lay no razor wire in pimp sneakers,” he added, “and round here, pimp still ain’t no term of praise.” When asked what that meant, he said, “You never hear a that goddamn show Pimp My Ride?”

A party insider said the Texas GOP only interrupted its favourite pastime of infighting to make the statement, because it was eager to upstage Nikki Haley’s attention-grabbing claim that she would pardon Trump, if she became president after he’s been convicted.

“Sheeyit! Course we gonna forgive him any goddamn thing. But she didn’t make no mention a them goddamn sneakers, so we’re makin’ it clear? They ain’t gonna fly down here. It ain’t dressin’ Texan!”

Holding up a picture on his mobile, he added, “How in the hell’s a man spose ta go line dancing in…them!“

The $399 sneakers, which are bright gold and boast the American flag on one side, as well as a large ‘T’ on the other, attracted near unanimous derision.

The twitter account of the Democratic party’s Austen branch greeted them with a tweet that said @TexasGop the T stands for Trash

A follow up tweet, playing on the fact that the sneakers are branded as ‘Never Surrender Hi-Tops’, said @TexasGop the perfect present for Ron DeSantis