I’d Rather Be Eaten By Hannibal Lecter Than Electrocuted By A Shark

“People are lining up to shoot me,” Donald Trump told a half empty auditorium in Pennsylvania today, “but I don’t care when I see a full house like this!”

“I really don’t care but one thing. I think I’ve said it before. I don’t care but I would rather not be eaten by a shark? Disgusting frankly. No I would rather be eaten by my good friend Hannibal Lecter who sadly can’t be here today. I heard they gave him cancer after they put a windmill in his back garden. Hid it in plain sight. And he didn’t see it, so he got cancer. So sad.

“And now they tell me Comrade Kamala has agreed to an interview with Fox News. I told them ‘You can’t trust those people? They stole the election from me. And if they can do it to me, they can do it to you’?”

“But I want to be perfectly clear. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it. I would rather be eaten by Hannibal Lecter anyday than electrocuted by a shark”.