Attendant Can’t Wait For Gallery To Close, To Begin Licking Exhibits

Lauren St. George, whose friends call her ‘Georgie’, heaved a sigh of relief last night, as she headed for the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Greek & Roman Collection, to begin licking the statuary.

Lauren couldn’t pinpoint the exact date she’d first ventured down there to enjoy what she now thought of as the main perk of her job but she knew it was something she couldn’t contemplate being without.

She usually began with the relief bust of the goddess Athena but somehow her mind always went back to where it all began with late night kisses bestowed on the statue on Oscar Wilde’s tomb in Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris.

Which, she often reflected, was just the sort of thing those creepy dicks in HR would make a stink about, if they knew.