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  • Biden: “The Polls Are Always Right, Just Ask Obama And Hillary?”
  • Trump Says Musk “Impossible To Reason With”
  • Man So Angry He Wants To Sweep Everything Off A Desk
  • Trump Says He Will Settle Earth’s UFO Problem ‘Big Time’
  • Watch Those Immigrants Says Convicted American Rapist
  • Haley: I’m Nothing Like Trump But I Agree With Him On Every Single Thing
  • “Do I Seem Like Someone Who Would Keep Secret Documents In A Bathroom?” Trump Asks Rally
  • Man At Movies By Himself Horrified To Discover His Own Penis Inside Popcorn Box
  • Jane Birkin Could Never Understand Why People Thought The Orgasm She Simulated On Je T’Aime Was Sexual?
  • DeSantis Only Half The Bastard Our Guy Is, Trump Campaign Warns
  • Billionaire Reluctantly Accepts He’ll Have To Go Into Space To Get The Respect He Deserves
  • Trump Attacks Hunter Biden For Making A Plea Deal: “You Just Don’t Do That!”
  • Man Died Surrounded By His Family After Stubbornly Refusing To Surrender
  • “Do I Seem Like Someone Who Would Keep Secret Documents In A Bathroom?” Trump Asks Rally
  • Man At Movies By Himself Horrified To Discover His Own Penis Inside Popcorn Box
  • Mission Impossible: Tom Cruise Tries To Get A Hospital Bed Within 48 Hours
  • If Necessary I Will Raise My Fist Again, Hawley Warns
  • George Santos Angrily Denies He Ever Owned A Book
  • Man Ok With AI Risks, So Long As It Delivers A Good Sex Robot
  • DeSantis Only Half The Bastard Our Guy Is, Trump Campaign Warns
  • British Startup Invents Long-Distance Arse Kissing Machine
  • Ireland Asks What Went Wrong, As Country’s Only Alcohol-Free Bar Closes
  • Ordinary Decent Liars of Fox News Furious With High-Profile Liars Of Fox News
  • We Smoked Ourselves To Death And It Never Did Us Any Harm, Man With Only half A Lung Tells Grandson
  • Bright Side Of The Road Closed Until Further Notice
  • America Agrees To Pay Reparations For Emily In Paris
  • Colossal Earthquake Obviously God’s Punishment For Some Minor Rule Breach
  • Taliban Ask Andrew Tate To Be New Minister For Women’s Welfare
  • Police Reject Candidate Who Isn’t Turned On By Corpse Pics
  • Residents’ Association Watching You, Asshole!
  • Ukrainian Town’s Name Sounds Like An Old Man Trying To Clear His Throat
  • Motorcyclist Thrown Over Handlebars Still Experiencing Amazing Sense Of Freedom
  • Ready4Rishi To Restore Trust In Politics By Smashing The Nurses Strike?
  • Spite Is A Renewable Energy
  • Putin Says Last Oligarch’s Death “Really Was Accidental”
  • Man’s Affair Is Having An Affair
  • Britain Leads World At Pageantry Because The World Couldn’t Give A Toss About Pageantry
  • Putin Says Last Oligarch’s Death “Really Was Accidental”
  • Unelected Millionaire To Tell Poor They’re Not Doing Poverty Right
  • Shop Assistant Too Wasted For Small Talk
  • Driverless Police Car, Chases Driverless Car
  • Bishop Sick Of All This Turn The Other Cheek Crap
  • Rees-Mogg Urges Leadership Contenders To “Keep It Creepy”
  • Putin Joins Truth Social After Trump Reassures Him About The Truth Part
  • Queen’s Death: Were The Jews Responsible?
  • Police Confirm No Suspects In Death Of Angela Lansbury
  • Old Man Used To Be A New Man
  • Mayo To Be Renamed ‘Rooney Country’
  • I Too Was Sceptical When I First Heard About This Amazing New Product, Says Salesman Selling New Product
  • Woman Who Thought She Was Dating A Priest, Learns He Was Just A Guy Wearing His Dead Uncle’s Clothes
  • I Know Just How Ukrainians Must Feel Because I Had A Really Bad Day At Work
  • Man Found Masturbating In Aldi, “Very Comfortable With His Sexuality”
  • Man Not Sure What He Ever Did To Montezuma
  • We May Never Know The Truth, Says Minister Feeding Documents Into Paper Shredder
  • WWII Bomber On Moon Stolen By China
  • Woman Thinks “World Would Be A Far Better Place, If We Were All Just A Little Bit Nicer To Each Other”
  • ‘Michael Jackson Done It All The Time,’ No Excuse For Rubbing Your Balls In Public, Judge Tells Man
  • Church ‘No Place For Moralising’
  • Annoying Exchange Student Clicks His Fingers To Every Song On The Radio
  • Former FBI Agent Fully Expects To Be Called Out Of Retirement To Solve Some Baffling Crime
  • Thames Valley Police Deny They Mistook Prince Harry For An Irish Traveller
  • The Freddie Starr I knew Was A Monster
  • Playboy Mansion Haunted By Ghost Of Heffner’s Last Erection
  • European Research Group Admits It’s Never Done Any European Research
  • Man On High Fibre Diet, ‘Really Laying Cable’
  • Zuckerberg: “It Was Like That When I Got Here”.
  • Student Calls Every Black Guy He Meets ‘Man’
  • Homeless Man Enjoying Christmas, Unaware He’s Hallucinating
  • Teen’s Mother Has ‘No Idea’ How Dark The World Really Is
  • Fabric Of Rural Ireland To Be Turned Into Irish Dancing Costumes
  • Turns Out Jackson Actually Was “Really, Really Bad”
  • Credibility of Irish Times Still Damaged By 2007 Inclusion Of Michael Bublé In “What’s Hot List”
  • Shane MacGowan’s Wedding Diaper: First Photos
  • Call Me If Anyone Says Something Funny About Trump
  • Man Who Fled Trial, Willing To Give Jury Benefit Of The Doubt
  • It’s All To Play For, Man Warns Ahead Of Sunday’s Match
  • All Aboard The Glug, Glug, Gluas!
  • How Many Drinks Should I Buy A Mother-Daughter-Sister-Lover-Woman?
  • Biden: I’ll Bet Tony Scott’s ‘Trademark Red Hat’ Is a Lot Redder Now
  • Nobody Gave Me A Handout When I Was On Welfare
  • Never Mind About Syria’s Butchered Children, The Sun Has Rescued A Donkey
  • Taxi Driver’s Fridge Magnet Wisdom Only Good For Five Minutes
  • Ram Jam Bromance
  • ‘Mission Accomplished,’ Man Who Never Courted Popularity Told 
  • Marriage Is ‘A Controlling Relationship’
  • Dog Shunned By Partner For Trying To Do It ‘Human Style’
  • America Remembers Last White Guy Who Could Cancel A Riot
  • Warning: Ireland In Danger Of Missing Out On ANOTHER World War!
  • I Hope I Die Before Celine Dion Does
  • Noah’s Ark Overtakes Tomb Of Jesus As Most Discovered Biblical Site
  • We Are All Guilty In Kerry Babies Case, Say People Who Were Actually Guilty
  • Student Joins Poetry Society After ‘Falling In With The Wrong Crowd’
  • Chronic Attention-Seeker Unfulfilled By Global Scrutiny
  • Hollywood Narcissists Split Up, Citing Wisdom Gained From Short, Bitter Marriage
  • Woman’s Boss Has ‘A Right Flea Up His Hole’ This Morning
  • No Matter How Much Weight Susan Boyle Loses, She’s Never Going To “Look Like A Model”
  • Woman Stirs Tea ‘Like A Lioness’
  • Scientists Prove That If A Tree Falls In Trinity, It Makes Noise At Cabinet Table
  • There Are No Losers Here Today, Winner Tells Losers
  • Shooting Fish In A Barrel Takes America By Storm
  • Barman Curates Drinks Order
  • Papal Anus Getting Millions Of Hits
  • Female Genital Mutilation In Ballinasloe
  • No Animals Harmed During Making Of Movie But Three Barbecued Shortly Afterwards
  • Man Admits That When He Said There Was Good News And Bad News, There Was Only Bad News
  • ‘BitchCoin’ Is Not Another Word For Alimony, Judge Tells Castlebar Man
  • Obese Hunter ‘Tests His Courage’ Against Distant, Limping, Near Blind Lion
  • Medical Card Will No Longer Cover ‘Pain Of The Blues’
  • ‘Orange Snow’ Riot In Connemara
  • Minor Award Turns Midlist Author Into Grumpy Bore
  • Roscommon Gardai Close To Solving 4FM’s CLASSIC SONG INVESTIGATION
  • Taxi Driver Unsure Exactly Which Mansion Asylum Seeker Lives In
  • Newly Qualified First-Aider Hanging Around Dublin Airport ‘Just in case?’
  • Harry Styles Feels Most Beautiful When He’s Asleep
  • Student Journalist Considering Using ‘Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves’ As Headline
  • Truth Is The First Casualty Of Boris Johnson
  • Homeless Irishwoman Applies For Ukrainian Citizenship
  • Wagatha: Winner To Meet Amber Heard In The Final
  • “I Know A Liar When I See One,” Johnson To Tell Putin
  • Say What You Like About Putin But At Least He’s A Christian Who Firmly Believes In The Death Penalty
  • Rees­–Mogg: “I Didn’t Know What ‘Oven­–Ready’ Brexit Meant Because Nanny Does All The Cooking”
  • ‘Why Does Everything Happen To Me?’ Wonders Simon ‘Calamity’ Coveney
  • Farmers Not Happy About Something
  • You Won’t Believe What Happened Next, Drone Operator Chuckles
  • Mary Lou’s Eyebrow Flickers Briefly, In Move Not Sanctioned By IRA Council
  • Film Critic Unmoved By Pre-Flight Safety Video
  • Woman Watching The Crown Wants Her Tea Served Just Like That
  • Man Willing To Do That Job Where You Have To Spit Out Wine
  • Conspiracy Theorist Just Wants To Know Why 88 Year Old Man Died
  • Queen To Get Completely Wankered Tonight
  • People Who Once Objected To Presidential Visits, Now Demanding Presidential Visits
  • Where Do You Stand On The Whole Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Swollen Balls Debate?
  • Middle Aged Couple Who Hold Hands In Public Viewed With Suspicion By Neighbours
  • Sincerity Rears Its Ugly Head
  • Town Slightly Nearer To Dublin Looks Down On Town Slightly Farther From Dublin
  • Boy Dangling From Fifth Floor Window Can’t Wait To See Which Superhero Saves Him
  • Ed Sheeran Announces Arrival Of First Hobbit Born In Captivity
  • Popularity Of Indian Food Proves Ireland ‘Definitely Not Racist’
  • Paschal Donohoe ‘Still On’ Puberty Blockers He Was Prescribed As A Teen
  • Man Whose Wife Told Him ‘You’re Not Getting Pulled Chicken’, Wants To Know If They’re Still Talking About Food
  • No Accountant Was Harmed In The Making Of This Movie
  • Man Singing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ Suffers Cardiac Arrest
  • Man Usually Gets His Wife’s Way In The End
  • My Nine Year Old Son Is Depressed In His Bedroom. Should I Let Him Out?
  • The Gear I Brought Back From ‘The Dam’ In My Ass
  • Man With No Shoes, Unmoved By Sight Of Man With No Feet
  • 12 Celebrities You Didn’t Know Owned A Green Hat
  • NASA Engineer Admits Programming Mars Explorer To Carve His Initials Into Rock
  • Head Of Tidy Towns Committee Also Dedicated Fascist
  • No ‘Pee’ In Chickpea Soup, Waitress Guarantees Castlebar Man
  • Syrian Man Uses Music To Overcome Challenge Of Living In Leitrim
  • Man Eating Beans From Tin, “Taking Back Control”
  • Don’t Go Getting Me Anything Expensive For Mother’s Day, Irish Woman Insists
  • Halfway Through Famine Report, Newsreader Expresses Alarm Over Dry Skin
  • Google Says You Have Cancer
  • Queen Eithne Mooney To Meet Doctor Decky Sheehy After School, In Lidl Carpark Dance Off
  • He Told Them He Was Finished But Then They Asked Him To Do ‘One Last Job’
  • Camping In Barna Woods Not The ‘Rainforest Holiday’ Woman Was Promised
  • Mansplaining Continues, Despite Rising Panic In Woman’s Eyes
  • Healy-Raes Launch ‘No Drink Left Behind’ Initiative
  • Irish Emigrant Wonders If He Might Be Needed Back Home Anytime Soon
  • Kevin The Carrot Breaks His Silence
  • Medical Card Will No Longer Cover ‘Pain Of The Blues’
  • Student Joins Poetry Society After ‘Falling In With The Wrong Crowd’
  • Keith Richards Never Had To Throw A Flat Screen TV Out Of His Hotel Window
  • Gov To Double West’s Share Of Unfulfilled Infrastructure Promises By 2025
  • Bored Teen Looking For Twitter Lynch Mob To Join
  • People “Way Too Smart To Believe The BBC”, Way Too Stupid To Find It
  • DUP Adopts “We Don’t Have To Take Our Clothes Off To Have A Good Time,” Ahead Of North’s Abortion Referendum
  • Family ‘Thrilled’ Daughter Has Lost Her Irish Accent
  • Johnson Says He Thought Party Was Work Because He Doesn’t Know What Work Looks Like
  • Man Feared For His Life When UFO Lights Dragged His Car Towards Dogging Spot
  • Doctors Hoping To Put A Human Heart Into Boris Johnson
  • DUP Want UK To Withdraw From The Enlightenment
  • Coveney Rock-Hard After Meeting Minor Royal
  • In His Own Mind, Council Worker Cleaning Up After Storm Playing Vital Role In Search & Rescue Operations
  • Woman Prepares Best Non-threatening Smile For Office Photo
  • Institute Of Axe Grinders Warns Against Bringing The Profession Into Disrepute
  • Now Look What You Made Me Do, Man Screams At Wife
  • We Used To Have An Empire Says Man Whose Car Won’t Start
  • Patriarchy Objects To Stereotyping By Women Who Should Be At Home Rearing Their Children
  • Local Man Would Really Like To Punch HR Guy’s Lights Out
  • Court Spares Man Who Has Whole Life Of Racism In Front Of Him
  • The Special Meaning Behind Biden’s Inauguration Outfit
  • The Guy Did Something Like That In The Bible Once?
  • Five Years Sober. Can I Bore The Hole Off You About It?
  • Meat Loaf Told ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ Not Appropriate As Charity Single For Covid Research
  • Is It Wrong To Say Miss Bum Bum Has ‘One Hell Of An Ass’?
  • Tell Me Again The Difference Between Homiesexual, Homosexual and Metrosexual, Mother Asks Teenage Son
  • Try This Simple Trick To Eliminate Dust – Turn On The Vacuum Cleaner
  • Committee Set Up To Establish Which Part Of Ireland Kanye West’s Ancestors Come From. Just In Case, Like?
  • Stephen Collins Accuses Newton Emerson Of Being ‘Soft On Sinn Féin’
  • Amber Heard Found Guilty Of Witchcraft
  • Man Arrested For Calling 999 To Report Theft of Air Guitar
  • Coronavirus “God’s Punishment” For Letting Gay Couple On DWTS
  • Irish Times Amazed By Irishman Living Abroad
  • Man Longs For Day When He Can Resent Intrusion Into Private Life That Fame Brings
  • Man Waiting Anxiously To See If He Qualifies For Level 8 Tripadvisor Badge
  • Senator Noone To Raise Awareness That “You Can’t Say Anything”
  • What To Do If You Feel Raped After Following A Woman Onto The Upper Deck Of A Bus To Watch Her Breastfeed
  • Granny’s Disappearance Will Make Great Episode Of ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Care Home Advises
  • Man Who Sees Dead People Everywhere Reminded He Works In A Morgue
  • Where’s Wally Publishers To Produce A Where’s Boris Edition
  • Man Unsure If Bruce Lee Can Continue To Defeat Larger And Larger Groups Of Opponents
  • New Brexit Deodorant Removes The Stench Of Racism
  • How To Cope With The Lingering Sense Of Bereavement That Follows A ‘Son Of Satan Christmas Shit’
  • “Is This A Hill You Want To Die On?” Priest Asks 5-Year-Old Playing Centurion In Nativity Play
  • Man Planning Selfless Act Surprised By How Much Self He Actually Has
  • I Like To Think Of Us As One Big, Happy Family, Says CEO Who’s About To Fire Everyone.
  • Black Lives Matter Ennis Threaten To Make Town ‘Ungovernable’ If America Does Not Change
  • Parish History Omits Time Fr Mike Blew The Bingo Fund At The Galway Races
  • Buy A ‘Vagina Candle,’ Woman Tells Ex, Because That’s As Near As You’ll Get
  • “Balcony Bingo? Sure It Writes Itself!” Cackles Roddy Doyle
  • ‘Michael Jackson Did It All The Time,’ No Excuse For Rubbing Your Balls In Public, Judge Tells Castlebar Man
  • Fair City Extra Recalls Time Gaybo Completely Ignored Him In A Lift
  • Coronavirus “God’s Punishment” For Letting Gay Couple On DWTS
  • Without The Alcohol That Prevented Him Realizing All His Ambitions, Man Discovers He No Longer Has Any Ambitions
  • Ritual Of Bridesmaid Claiming She’s Breaking With Tradition By Making A Speech, Already Underway
  • Man Who Didn’t Suffer Fools Gladly, Was ‘Just Another Dick’
  • Kid Who Had To Wait A Year For A Wheelchair, Would Probably Have Grown Out Of It By Now Anyway
  • Millionth Woman Seeking Validation Asks Mumsnet ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’
  • New Marine Can’t Wait To Torch A Village For America
  • Man Praying His Wife Won’t Start Speaking ‘On Behalf Of All Women’
  • What To Do When A Himalayan Salt Lamp Doesn’t Cure Your Depression
  • Dog Tries To Hump Woman More Than Husband Does
  • Win A Magical Weekend For Two At The Red Cow Inn
  • Postman Still Calling It The Gurmet Tart Co
  • Man Thinking Of Buying Expensive Notebook In Case It Ever Turns Out He’s A Writer
  • Fruit Sellers Demand End To High Speed Car Chases
  • Endless Glamour Of Airline Travel Finally Getting To Ryanair Cabin Crew
  • Mother Keeps Asking To See ‘Pearl Necklace’ Daughter Got For Valentine’s Day
  • Anything Man Knows About Women He Learned The Hard Way
  • Man Thinking Of Giving Up Alcohol For November Soon
  • Couple Planning Family Newsletter From Dog’s Point Of View
  • Man Breaks Long Silence To Reveal He’s Totally Off His Tits
  • Wedding Planner Referring To Guests As ‘Civilians’
  • Woman Singing ‘Private Dancer’ Confident She’d Make An Excellent Prostitute
  • We Built This City On Rock’n’roll Defence Ruled Inadmissible In Court
  • Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
  • Woman Just Putting That Ballymaloe Sauce On Everything Now
  • Actress Whose Mother Is Her Best Friend, Tells All
  • Halfway Through Famine Report, Newsreader Expresses Alarm Over Dry Skin
  • Fucking Your Kids Up, Still No 1 Parenting Mistake
  • Man Whose Wife Is His Best Friend, “Definitely Having An Affair”
  • Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
  • Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
  • Attendant Can’t Wait For Gallery To Close, To Begin Licking Exhibits
  • Lifelong Marxist Struggling To Cope With Mainstream Approval
  • Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
  • Man’s Penis Feeling More Like A Swinger Than A Soulmate Tonight
  • Taxi Driver Unsure Exactly Which Mansion Asylum Seeker Lives In
  • Spike In Panic Attacks, Following €65m Cannabis Seizure
  • Study Finds Most Americans Killed By ‘Acts Of God,’ Live In Bible Belt States
  • Don’t Make Same Mistakes I Made, Says Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall The Mistakes He Made
  • Man Just Following His Pecker Around
  • Wife Cancelled Date Night Even Though Husband Had Already Brushed Teeth
  • Dog Dragging Its Balls Along Carpet ‘Understands Every Word Woman Says’
  • Wife Says All Husband Does Is ‘Make Carbon Dioxide’
  • Asian Couple Name Son “CEO Amir Patel” To Give Him ‘Headstart In Business’
  • Eamon ‘I, Robot’ Ryan
  • ‘Calm Down Love,’ Journalist Told After Asking ‘Hello, Is That The Garda Press Office?’
  • Incredible New Anti-Snoring Device Takes Ireland By Storm
  • Man Singing “Leave A Light On For Me” To Warn Wife He’ll Be Legless When He Gets In
  • Turns Out Mass Death Is Worse For Economy Than Mass Unemployment
  • Mayor’s Job “One Step Up From Being Town’s Most Colourful Drunk”
  • New Doctor First Black Man To See Woman’s Tits
  • Indian Waiter Faints After Customer Orders Dessert
  • Man Relieved He Has ‘Boner Fider’ Boner
  • Her Majesty Will Be Offended If I Don’t Get A Window Seat, Donaldson Tells Stewardess
  • Vaccinated Woman Claims Zombies Just Run Past Her Now
  • The Ballad Of Brave Sir Jeffrey
  • Support For A Border Poll To Be Made A Hate Crime
  • Johnny Skunk And Mary Gargle’s Romance ‘Is Growing All The Time’
  • True Value Of The Sun Was Always Zero
  • ‘I blame The Parents,’ Says Alcoholic Woken By Crying Baby
  • Re-enactment Society Just Cover For Bondage Club
  • Castlebar Man Not Sold “A Gay Computer”
  • Jagger Denies ‘Satisfaction’ To Be Used In Viagra Commercial
  • NUIG ‘Klingon’ Row Splits Board
  • Man ‘Totally Guarantees’ There Will Be No Gratuitous Nudity In His Screenplay
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