‘Normal People’ Pollution Reaches Earth’s Last Wilderness

Scientists have confirmed that fawning admiration for the TV adaptation of Sally Rooney’s novel, Normal People, has reached the Antartic.

A team spent three weeks analysing text messages sent by staff at the international research stations.

“Watching Marianne have her first normal Christmas made me so emotional,” was typical of the affected vomit they discovered.

“I read the book but I don’t understand how it got here in far less time than it took plastics to make the journey,” Team leader Valerie Anderson said, “basically it’s just Maeve Binchy with sex”.