New Marine Can’t Wait To Torch A Village For America

Recently graduated US Marine Walter ‘Toerag’ Toey said last night he “couldn’t wait to smoke a Haji village for America'”

Toerag also said he thought he spoke for everyone in his platoon when he said that they were all deeply worried there would be no more wars with third world Arab countries.

Towe said he didn’t understand why anyone would carry out a mass shooting in America ‘when you can get paid for doing pretty much the same thing in one of the shithole countries Mr Trump doesn’t like?’ “Besides,” he added, “these days it would pretty much guarantee you a seat in congress”.

“It’s tricky for him to defend you, if you do it on home soil,” he explained, “but Mr Trump has proven he’ll go in hard for you if you off a bunch of Ali Babas and for that, I’d like to say a big Tango Yankee to the man who’ll always be my president.”

Walter said he had absolutely no fears about going into combat.

“My unit’s got a fat guy, a guy who’s a natural clown and a guy who’s due to get married at the end of his tour, so I figure I’m easily gonna be one of the guys who makes it back?”