Actress Who Stopped Shaving Her Legs, Secretly Delighted At ‘Death Threats’

As her friends screamed their approval over drinks at The Last Resort cocktail bar, ‘actress, model & supermarket shelf stacker’ Olivia Fadwell continued to give a blasé account of her most successful viral-marketing campaign.

“Let’s face it girls, I’m in the self promotion business. Right? And this time last week I was literally dead. People were stepping over me! But since I posted those photos, I’ve had more coverage than I can handle.”

Questioned by CatMelodeonNews afterwards, Fadwell was sanguine about the online death threats she’d received.

“I could care less what fat stoners who live in their parents’ basements think! But you have to say I’m terrified, right? And you have to say I’m an actress because I am killing this one.”

Asked if she knew the idea of not shaving was a long established ‘feminist statement’ before she undertook it, Fadwell replied “Well d’uh!”

“The difference between me and those amateurs,” she said, “was that I didn’t document it, I demonstrated it. It’s like that thing, you know, ‘If nobody hears a tree fall’?”

“Well, if nobody sees you’ve stopped shaving your legs, have you really made a statement?”