Association Of CEOs Who Never Remember Their Wedding Anniversaries, Say Biden’s Memory “Just Fine”

Business Roundtable, the association of more than 200 CEOs who can never remember their wedding anniversaries, have issued a statement pointing out President Biden’s memory is “fine by us”.

The organisation which normally leans conservative, has conceded that in the midst of a major crisis, not being able to recall the date of traumatic event like a wedding day, “is in no way indicative of mental decline”.

“Jesus Christ,” a spokesman said, “I wish I had a nickel for every time I couldn’t remember my wedding anniversary! Isn’t that what secretaries are for?”

“I mean we’ve all had that moment when you break out in a cold sweat as you suddenly wonder, ‘Holy fuck did I miss it?’.”

A notice on the organisation’s website later added that “While Business Roundtable would not like anything it says on this subject to be treated as a political endorsement, we believe the possession of a firm grasp of reality to be far more important, than a simple ability to recall names and dates.”