Biden A Danger To Democracy, Says Man Promising ‘A Bloodbath’ If He Doesn’t Win Himself

“President Biden is a danger to democracy,” claimed a man who has previously promised to be ‘a dictator on day one,’ if elected. The man, who would “rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark,” has claimed both to have beaten Obama, whom he never ran against, and also to be running against Obama, who isn’t in the race.

He continues to boast of his mental acuity and phenomenal memory while trailing off mid-sentence and delivering rambling unfinished thoughts instead of whole sentences.

The man insists he has taken and passed the ‘very difficult’ Montreal Cognitive Assessment test. But the doctor who developed it says “It’s supposed to be easy for someone who has no cognitive impairment.”

The man claims the test contains advanced math but Dr Ziad Nareddine says it does not. “Google it? If you’re not impaired, it’s pretty easy.”

An aide to President Biden responded that “The last time this guy promised us ‘a bloodbath,’ he was predicting the results of the midterms”.