Biden Declares Trump “Most Presumptive Nominee Ever”

After recent speculation about whether the GOP should declare Donald Trump its ‘presumptive nominee’ before he secures the nomination, President Biden dubbed him “the most presumptive nominee ever”.

“This, after all,” he continued, “is a man who thinks he had a right to overthrow an election he lost. A man who thinks he has immunity to commit any crime, including murder of a political rival. A man who thinks he’s more popular than Taylor Swift and who thinks he looks like Elvis! I think it’s fair to say that in the history of nominees for anything, he is clearly the most presumptive nominee of all time.”

“He’s a man who likes to claim that ‘people who never cried before, cry when they see him now’. And I think I know just how they feel? This is a man who says things like, he ‘knows the best words’ and then says things like you can ‘end’ magnets by pouring water on them. The list goes on and on”.

“But seriously folks,” Biden concluded, “come November, we will remind everyone of some of his proudest words – that he ‘got rid of Roe v. Wade’.”