Biden Takes Six Point Lead Over Trump, After Exiting Race

The latest poll shows President Biden’s ratings have jumped sharply since he exited the race. Experts are putting it down to “buyer’s remorse” on the part of all the people who insisted he should withdraw in favour of Kamala Harris but are now screaming “we need to have a convention”.

“It’s a common phenomena amongst centre left voters in general,” an expert explained. “the idea that there is always a better candidate than the current one? And now that he’s exited the race, the president fits that category perfectly?”

Meanwhile Eric Trump has issued a heartfelt plea to Biden re-enter the race.

“If you knew what this is doing to Dad, you’d reverse this cruel decision immediately. He was counting on you? But now he’s all over the place. You would never make it in the republican party with an attitude like that. Putting the country before your own needs is typical communist BS.

His office later confirmed that one of his closest friends had “lost family in Dachau, one of Stalin’s most notorious concentration camps”.