Blinken Arrives in Israel to Crush Peace Talks

US Secretary of State Antony Blinken has arrived in Israel to crush peace talks but stress that Donald Trump “wouldn’t have bothered to hold pretend talks like we did?”

“Hopefully with the assassination of Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar we can now end the miserable pretence America will ever be interested in reining in Israel’s war crimes” Blinken told awaiting Israeli officials.

The US has been pretending to help Israel and Hamas strike a deal to release hostages for over a year.

During this time, Blinken has made 11 visits and on these occasions has learned to look forward to a relaxed get together with his Israeli counterparts.

“To be honest,” he chuckled to reporters on the tarmac, “the guys get rowdy pretty quickly, after we’ve read out the platitudes about not failing the children again? Nothing makes them thirstier than mealy mouthed words about hope and better tomorrows.”