Bright Side Of The Road Closed Until Further Notice

The bright side of the road has been closed until further notice, the Bureau of Plausible Deniability announced today, despite repeated protests from Van Morrison. A spokesman said too many people were crossing from the dark side to the bright side at exactly the same point on the road and blamed the Belfast singer for creating a situation that was likely to lead to an unacceptable risk of death or injury to pedestrians.

The secretive, little known bureau is commonly described as ‘a political mudflap’. One designed to protect the government from any political blowback, caused by badly thought out policies. It later issued a clarification, blaming the closure on, “Covid, the war in Ukraine, Bono, the price of oil, inflation and the Chinese spy balloon.” In a surprise move that political analysts hadn’t been expecting, the bureau also confirmed that after the next budget, it will no longer be legal for anyone on social welfare to look on the bright side.