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Man Breaks Long Silence To Reveal He’s Totally Off His Tits

Man Breaks Long Silence To Reveal He’s Totally Off His Tits

29/11/2018

Announcement followed prolonged period of chin stroking

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WWII Bomber On Moon Stolen By China
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Mansplaining Continues, Despite Rising Panic In Woman’s Eyes
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Now Look What You Made Me Do, Man Screams At Wife
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‘Michael Jackson Did It All The Time,’ No Excuse For Rubbing Your Balls In Public, Judge Tells Castlebar Man
Fair City Extra Recalls Time Gaybo Completely Ignored Him In A Lift
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Without The Alcohol That Prevented Him Realizing All His Ambitions, Man Discovers He No Longer Has Any Ambitions
Ritual Of Bridesmaid Claiming She’s Breaking With Tradition By Making A Speech, Already Underway
Man Who Didn’t Suffer Fools Gladly, Was ‘Just Another Dick’
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Millionth Woman Seeking Validation Asks Mumsnet ‘Am I Being Unreasonable?’
New Marine Can’t Wait To Torch A Village For America
Man Praying His Wife Won’t Start Speaking ‘On Behalf Of All Women’
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Dog Tries To Hump Woman More Than Husband Does
Win A Magical Weekend For Two At The Red Cow Inn
Postman Still Calling It The Gurmet Tart Co
Man Thinking Of Buying Expensive Notebook In Case It Ever Turns Out He’s A Writer
Fruit Sellers Demand End To High Speed Car Chases
Endless Glamour Of Airline Travel Finally Getting To Ryanair Cabin Crew
Mother Keeps Asking To See ‘Pearl Necklace’ Daughter Got For Valentine’s Day
Anything Man Knows About Women He Learned The Hard Way
Man Thinking Of Giving Up Alcohol For November Soon
Couple Planning Family Newsletter From Dog’s Point Of View
Man Breaks Long Silence To Reveal He’s Totally Off His Tits
Wedding Planner Referring To Guests As ‘Civilians’
Woman Singing ‘Private Dancer’ Confident She’d Make An Excellent Prostitute
We Built This City On Rock’n’roll Defence Ruled Inadmissible In Court
Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
Woman Just Putting That Ballymaloe Sauce On Everything Now
Actress Whose Mother Is Her Best Friend, Tells All
Halfway Through Famine Report, Newsreader Expresses Alarm Over Dry Skin
Fucking Your Kids Up, Still No 1 Parenting Mistake
Man Whose Wife Is His Best Friend, “Definitely Having An Affair”
Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
Man Singing In Shower Pretty Sure He’s Multitasking
Attendant Can’t Wait For Gallery To Close, To Begin Licking Exhibits
Lifelong Marxist Struggling To Cope With Mainstream Approval
Lying, Racist, Morally Bankrupt MP, Surprise Favourite To Lead Tories
Man’s Penis Feeling More Like A Swinger Than A Soulmate Tonight
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Spike In Panic Attacks, Following €65m Cannabis Seizure
Study Finds Most Americans Killed By ‘Acts Of God,’ Live In Bible Belt States
Don’t Make Same Mistakes I Made, Says Alcoholic Who Can’t Recall The Mistakes He Made
Man Just Following His Pecker Around
Wife Cancelled Date Night Even Though Husband Had Already Brushed Teeth
Dog Dragging Its Balls Along Carpet ‘Understands Every Word Woman Says’
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Eamon ‘I, Robot’ Ryan
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Man Singing “Leave A Light On For Me” To Warn Wife He’ll Be Legless When He Gets In
Turns Out Mass Death Is Worse For Economy Than Mass Unemployment
Mayor’s Job “One Step Up From Being Town’s Most Colourful Drunk”
New Doctor First Black Man To See Woman’s Tits
Indian Waiter Faints After Customer Orders Dessert
Man Relieved He Has ‘Boner Fider’ Boner
Her Majesty Will Be Offended If I Don’t Get A Window Seat, Donaldson Tells Stewardess
Vaccinated Woman Claims Zombies Just Run Past Her Now
The Ballad Of Brave Sir Jeffrey
Support For A Border Poll To Be Made A Hate Crime
Johnny Skunk And Mary Gargle’s Romance ‘Is Growing All The Time’
True Value Of The Sun Was Always Zero
‘I blame The Parents,’ Says Alcoholic Woken By Crying Baby
Re-enactment Society Just Cover For Bondage Club
Castlebar Man Not Sold “A Gay Computer”
Jagger Denies ‘Satisfaction’ To Be Used In Viagra Commercial
NUIG ‘Klingon’ Row Splits Board
Man ‘Totally Guarantees’ There Will Be No Gratuitous Nudity In His Screenplay

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