Commerce Secretary Denies Reports ‘He Pads Around Washington In $600 Embroidered Slippers’

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Louis Ross Jr. has rebuked The New York Times for claiming he was ‘out of touch with how ordinary Americans live’. The paper also reported that he owns a pair of slippers worth $1,200.

In a statement released this evening, the billionaire asset-stripper denied for the first time that his cronies privately refer to him as ‘Monty Burns’. A spokesman confirmed that while Secretary Ross does own a pair of embroidered slippers, each slipper is worth $1,200.

“So maybe the so-called New York Times needs to check its facts,” he sneered, “before it rushes into print?” He also confirmed that the slippers were a gift from ‘his highness the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud’.

Separately, the department announced that Mr Ross does not wear the slippers, as he prefers to be carried to meetings in a sedan chair that has been in his family for generations.

“The chair is carried by immigrant children,” a press release said, “who would otherwise be ineligible to live in this great country of ours”.