Donald “Grab ‘em By The Pussy” Trump Says “Nobody’s Ever Called Me Weird”

Donald Trump who wanted to buy Greenland, nuke hurricanes and overthrow an election – to randomly name just three of the weirdest things about him – claimed yesterday that nobody had ever called him weird.

Political analysts immediately declared his claim to the title of Weirdest Public Figure Ever, completely safe for the foreseeable future.

“Nothing JD Vance could do ever do to a couch”, one said, “even if he added a dog collar, a but plug and a bunch of feathers to the mix, can change that now.”