Colossal Earthquake Obviously God’s Punishment For Some Minor Rule Breach

Followers of the One True God agreed today that the enormous death toll caused by Monday’s twin earthquakes in the Middle East, was probably provoked by some pretty minor rule breach but remain divided over precisely which one.

“When you think about it,” one follower mused, “HE obviously felt people were completely ignoring the rule about wearing torn jeans? Because Leviticus 10.6 clearly states that Moses told Aaron not to ‘rend your clothes, lest ye die, and lest wrath shall come upon all the people’. So, it couldn’t be clearer, in my view?”

However a second true believer disagreed, pointing out that “According to Exodus 23.13 ye shall ‘make no mention of the name of other gods’. There’s way too much of that going on these days and that probably annoyed him even more than all the people wearing torn jeans.“

But both agreed that everyone should cut HIM some slack because it was probably just one of those spur of the moment things where He lost His rag and is really, really sorry now? And they agreed they wouldn’t be at all surprised if HE gives us a really good summer this year, as compensation.

Meanwhile, followers of all the false gods were busy blaming the devastating death toll on pagans, Satanists and Jews. But not necessarily in that order?