Everest Base Camp To Get Pret a Manger Store

Everest climber Nirmal ‘Nirms’ Purja has confirmed he’s been hired to select a suitable site for fashionable sandwich chain Prêt à Manger’s first Nepalese outlet.

The former Gurkha and Royal Marine is delighted the hordes of tourists who attempt the climb each year, will have somewhere to relax while queueing up for their turn at the summit.

“These days,” he observed, “success is more obscure than failure.”

“Think about it,” he continued, “when’s the last time you were told the name of someone who tried to climb Everest but failed?”

In a separate development, Sherpa Pemba Golu revealed Northern Irish band Snow Patrol are being considered to headline the base camp’s first music festival.

Asked how he felt about that, Golu sighed heavily and said, “It goes with the territory, doesn’t it. I expect bloody Banksy will turn up any day now…”