Fed Says Election Results Indicate Sharp Rise In Buyer’s Remorse

Fed chair Jay Powell has signalled he will take no action over the recent sharp rise in buyer’s remorse, seen in last week’s election results, insisting there’s little risk of being ‘misled by the data’.

Powell said the markets had seen a peak in buyer’s remorse last Tuesday night when voters revealed deep dissatisfaction with what they’d bought into just four years earlier. “However we will likely not see similar gains again,” he predicted, “until November ’24.”

Buyer’s remorse tends to lag behind inflation in the run up to the festive period however the recent steep increase in this important indicator, is thought to conceal underlying factors like consumer resentment at the increasing extremism of the Maga sector.

Powell added that “the dot plot demonstrated the wisdom of staging an intervention before the party season kicked in but as it turned out, the markets regained their natural equilibrium and no further action will be necessary”.

Analysts said Powell’s comments indicated that the Fed sees eye-to-eye with President Biden on the need to ensure America draws the correct conclusion about buying damaged goods.

Or, as a White House statement later said, “the need to ensure America draws the correct conclusion about buying damaged goods like Donald Trump !”