Former President ‘Lost His Mind’ When Court Called Him ‘Citizen Trump’

Donald Trump ‘totally lost his mind’ yesterday, a visibly shaken Mar–a–Lago insider said, after a federal appeals court referred to him as ‘Citizen Trump’. The court also rejected his claim that he is immune from criminal prosecution for any actions he took while president.

“He was not happy,” the source said, “because even Melania has to call him ‘Sir’ or ‘Mr President’, if she wants to speak to him?”

A ‘ranting and disoriented’ Trump is said to have harangued a small gathering of yawning Mexican chambermaids, forced to listen long after their shifts had ended.

He’s said to have spoken ‘without notes’ and was described as ‘wild-eyed and dishevelled looking’ by a bystander who refused to disclose his name.

Trump said that when the court called him ‘citizen’, it was really saying he had lost the 2020 election. “Because otherwise why wouldn’t they call me President Trump?”

“He talk for hours,” a yawning chambermaid confirmed, “How the Biden steal the election from him? Muchos Muslims come from Mexico. Always the same. Loco pedazo de mierda!”