Harris Says Orange Won’t Be the New Black

Vice President Kamal Harris today predicted she will beat Donald Trump in November, joking “Orange definitely won’t be the new black”.

Trump is sometimes referred to as ‘the orange man’ on account of the unevenly applied makeup he wears in public. “He always says he doesn’t see colour,” Harris laughed, “and judging by the way he applies that cheap bronzer, he might be telling the truth for once?”

Political correspondents say lately, Trump appears to be “less bronze but definitely more racist”. Meanwhile an image consultant pointed out the ‘concealer’ he uses, should be applied sparingly to imperfections. Before adding but “obviously nobody’s got as many imperfections as he has”.

A leading polling consultant says he believes Trump’s ‘peak orange’ phase occurred while he was presenting The Apprentice but that he may now be trying to appear more presidential in the runup to the election.

“I’m told the show’s daytime TV demographic, found his citrus fruit face,” he smiled, “very debonair?”