Head Of Tidy Towns Committee Also Dedicated Fascist

“It will take dedication and and it will take constant vigilance,” Jim Moir, told the inaugural meeting of the Birr Tidy Towns committee last night, to enthusiastic applause.

“All I can offer you is blood, sweat and tears,” he warned, as the applause built and some began to whoop.

“But if you follow me,” he then screamed at the by now ecstatic crowd, “I guarantee none of those liquids will be yours!”

Cheering gave way to bewilderment as the Tidy Towns crowd processed this confusing message before Moir apologised, saying “Sorry, sorry, wrong meeting!”

Afterwards Moir, who is also head of the No Mosque Here Campaign, clarified that he had “nothing against anyone. Except of course for the Islamics and the travellers”.