I Like To Think Of Us As One Big, Happy Family, Says CEO Who’s About To Fire Everyone

Speaking from his Napa Valley vineyard home, Cyrus Massevala made a short but emotional speech via conference screen to the 800 telesales employees of VerdenForce, the travel company he founded five years ago.

He chuckled as he recalled how the plucky little, minimum wage company he’d founded in his mother’s garage, using the generous divorce settlement she’d received from his father, had initially struggled. Before slowly going on to build a growing team of zero-hours employees who worked long and hard to make a very big name for such a small company. An achievement, he said, that no one could take away from him.

“You know I like to think of us as one big, happy family,” the dynamic young CEO finally said, “one big, happy family where everyone gets treated the same – no favourites. And that’s why I want to fire everyone at exactly the same time? So as of 11.30 eastern standard time, we’re all going to begin an exciting new adventure. Farewell.”

As a private security force began clearing the workforce from the building, floor by floor, Dale Granger told Ellen Haskell it was just as well.

“Every year he said no to giving us a raise and then started with the “one big, happy family” stuff. My wife always said, if we get any happier, we won’t be able to pay the mortgage.”