I Too Was Sceptical When I First Heard About This Amazing New Product, Says Salesman Selling New Product

I like to think I’m as sceptical as the next guy because if life has taught me anything, it’s that if a thing seems too good to be true, then it probably is! Am I right?

“Quentin,” people always say, “you’re way too cynical for me” but I say you’ve got to keep your eyes open these days or they’ll rob you.”

That’s why I too was sceptical when I first saw this amazing new product being advertised on cable TV at 5am. I decided to take me a closer look and boy, was I glad I did.

This new blender with 35 attachments will revolutionize – yes, I did say revolutionize – your entire life.

The FujiGotcha will cut food preparation times to a minimum, leaving you plenty of time for that screenplay you’ve always wanted to write. The one about the overweight, badly dressed, quite depressed, part qualified accountant who’s actually a hoot when you get to know him? (Although personally, I think if you ever want to get it made, it should be about a woman because everything is about women these days – am I right?)

And you don’t have to worry about scams because I’ve done all the legwork for you! I drank half a bottle of tequila while carefully evaluating how well the food processor shreds cabbage, tomatoes and apples.

So this is one purchase you certainly won’t regret. Can I put you down for two?