I’ll go inside my own brain to find out the truth

“I’ll have to go,” the Minister of State for Training & Skills insisted yesterday.

“I simply won’t tolerate any more of my behaviour,” he told reporters on the plinth, “and I’m happy to hold an inquiry into myself because the days when I could get away with the sort of glib answers I’ve been giving lately, are over. This isn’t North Korea, you know.”

Minister Halligan added that he was happy to “go inside my own brain if necessary, to find out what I knew and when I knew it”.

“I’m ready to ask myself the hard questions. The days are over,” he declared, “when politicians like myself could get away with this kind of thing!”