Santa Would Prefer If You Didn’t Sit On His Lap?

Under a sign saying, ‘Please do NOT sit on Santa’s lap,’ David Goldsmith tried to convince a drunken Shauna ‘Shocks on the Rocks’ O’Shaughnessy, to comply.

“Nothing personal honey,” he told the 18 year old, as her friends screamed obscenities at him, “it’s the lawyers”.

As soon as the group had departed, a clearly tense Mr. Goldsmith said he thought it might be time to ‘hang up his sack’?

“This used to be a great little seasonal earner,” he said, “but frankly, some of these kids scare the ‘ho, ho, hole’ off me?”