Jews Planning To Use Space Laser To Assassinate Trump – MTG

Marjorie Taylor Greene says she has credible information Trump–hating Jews are “planning to use the deadly space laser they started the California wildfires with, to wipe out Donald Trump!”

“A deep state informant who goes by the codename @daddyismyjuicepig,” she claimed, “has sent me disturbing signals int containing the co-ordinates of Mar-a-Lago. I’ve given the details to the FBI but obviously the bureau is remaining tight-lipped at this point”.

A Biden spokesman refused to comment beyond saying that “Using tight-lipped in a sentence is about as close as Marge is ever likely to get to being in that state”.

“Three is a magic number,” Taylor Greene warned, “therefore it’s highly probable the Haitians are also involved. They are known to be masters of voodoo and all kinds of bad jou jou. This means the third attempt on Donald Trump’s life, will likely be successful.”

“Right now, the bureau are working on the theory that it was actually the laser that brought the twin towers down on 9/11,” she later told Rolling Stone, “and that it has many, many times been used to divert hurricanes into republican areas? But you didn’t hear any of that from me?”

The Jewish Space Laser Agency said it couldn’t comment on the claims but in the interests of transparency, was calling on the FBI to immediately establish if @daddyismyjuicepig is a Deep Throat-style source.