Judge Refuses To ‘Blame It On The Boogie’

At Castlebar District Court today, Judge Fiona Leyden refused to dismiss a charge of urinating in public by blaming it ‘on the boogie’. The court heard local man Gerry Beaton told the police his name was “Superintendent Michael Jackson,” after they came across him urinating against the glass front of a chip shop, to the annoyance of the customers on the other side.

Beaton warned the gardai, “I’ll have ye transferred to Mulranny so quick, ye won’t know what hit ye”.

Commenting, Judge Leyden said Mulranny is a “remote and barren place and that it was quite wrong to say such an awful thing – even in jest!”

Refusing leave to appeal, she said she would not, as the defendant had requested, ‘blame it on the boogie’. Before he could object, she also ruled out blaming the ‘sunshine, moonlight or good times’.

At time of going to press Beaton said he had ‘no good explanation’ as to why he had been charged with the same offence on 14 different occasions.

But then the inveterate Michael Jackson imitator suddenly grabbed his crotch with one hand and began wailing, “I just can’t, I just can’t, I just can’t control myself”.