Majority Of Democrats Would Welcome Another Kennedy Assassination

A new poll has found a majority of Democrats (63%) now regard RFK Jr. as ‘a dangerous idiot’, as opposed to the number (38%) that last month viewed him as ‘a useful idiot’.

The sharp fall in his popularity follows the revelation by CNN that one of his aides recently told New York republicans that “our mutual enemy is Biden”. Prior to this, the presumption had been that his campaign would likely take more votes away from Trump than Biden.

When voters were asked what direction they would like to see the campaign take next, many suggested ‘Dealy Plaza in Dallas, Texas’ with ‘the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles’ coming in a close second. JFK was assassinated at the former and RFK Jr.’s own father – RFK – at the latter.

Last month dozens of Kennedys gathered at the White House to boost Biden’s re-election effort and push back against one of their own whom they see as spoiling the Kennedy legacy. A senior member of the family said, “I think I speak for most of the extended family when I say most of us probably wouldn’t mourn another assassination either?”

On hearing news of the campaign’s secret intent, President Biden remarked “He’s finally found a conspiracy he can prove!”