Male Birth Control Pill 100% Effective For Men Who Aren’t Lying About Taking It

A new drug that temporarily paralyzes sperm for more than two hours, was found to be 100% effective in men who definitely aren’t lying when they say they’ve taken it. After being successfully tested on lab rats, the drug was tested on a random sample of 50 men aged 18 to 30 and was found to work on all those who actually took it before sex.

The results show that when asked “Honey did you take your birth control pill?”, 40% of the men who replied “Well d’uh!”, had their fingers crossed at the time. The National Organization for Women said this rendered the drug about as effective as “doing it while standing on one leg”. During follow up interviews, every one of the 40% said they lied because “um, you know, like, when you’re using birth control, the sex just…doesn’t feel as good?”