Man Planning Selfless Act Surprised By How Much Self He Actually Has

“Initially I thought I’d do something kinda heroic? Maybe donate a kidney to a smoking hot chick who’d be like, totally beholden to me for ever…” Eddie Finnegan said earlier today, in a thoughtful tone.

“But then I decided to just go for a small town hero vibe and wrap presents for all the old folks at the nearest care home? Those people are pathetically grateful and the local newspaper would probably say what a great guy I was.”

“But that’s still a lotta work and there’s no guarantee there’d be be any chicks there at all. So what I really need is something that’s really, really selfless but doesn’t require me to leave home?”

Finally he decided to reduce the “seasonal pressure” on the public by not collecting for Concern on Christmas Eve.

And sure enough, he was immediately overcome by a warm feeling that he guessed must be the very same one they say, inevitably follows the completion of a good deed.