Man Who Claims His Public Relations Work Doesn’t Compromise His Integrity, Sadly Correct

PR “Executive” Steve Collins last night told friends he doesn’t believe his PR work for Shell, compromises his ethics. “I see myself as more of a climate activist hiding in plain sight,” he explained, “but at the same time, in a way…I’m kinda undercover too?“

Challenged to explain how he could be a climate activist while he works for a fossil fuel energy company, he said his job allowed him to lobby decision makers to undertake more green initiatives.

“I do believe in climate change,” he continued, “but management have to be given time to come round? Everyone knows stopping people from getting to the airport doesn’t work, it’s just counter productive.”

“We’re so far past that point,” marine biologist Lisa Hardy snapped, “no more greenwash, it’s literally now or never.” She added that using phrases like, “Everybody knows” to support claims that have no basis in fact, is absurd as well as unethical. And it was this remark that finally, led Collins to haughtily announce, “Well, I’m quite certain my public relations work doesn’t compromise my integrity!”

Laughter followed when Hardy dryly replied, “I think that’s sadly, correct!”