Man Who Complained Throughout Heatwave Complained Even More About End Of Heatwave

“Typical,” local retard Mick Clifford complained to the bus driver today, “the sun never comes out and the rain never stops?”

Clifford had just seamlessly transitioned from a week of complaining about the heat – “It’s all very well for foreigners but we’re not used to it?”, “You can’t sleep in this weather”, “It’s the flies I can’t stand”, “You can’t go outside in this heat”, “The beaches are too crowded” and “If we don’t get rain soon, the crops will ruined” – to moaning about the end of the hot spell.

“One ninety please,” the driver barked at him, as he glanced in the mirror to see if he could pull out of the halting zone. “If it keeps raining like this,” Clifford said, “the children will be born with webbed feet”.

Locally, Clifford is known to be one of those odd people who like to spout a cliché and then ask, “Did you ever hear that one?” before claiming, “That’s a great one of mine.”

“Sit down,” the driver snapped at him, barely able to contain his irritation at having had to listen to such an ancient banality, yet again.

“I was just telling the driver,” Clifford said, as he slid into a seat beside local woman Ally O’Grady, “if it rains anymore, the children will be born with webbed feet”.

O’Grady smiled uneasily at him and tried to go back to her book. But before she could find her place again, he leaned over and whispered, “Did you ever hear that one? That’s a great one of mine…”

After several further interrupted attempts to read, she got up for her stop. “Of course the bus is late,” Clifford moaned, glancing at his watch. “Better late than never,” O’Grady replied, “Did you ever hear that one? It’s a great one of mine!”