Man Who ‘Loves Books,’ Going To Wait Until The Movie Comes Out

“Yes I did say nothing can transport us to wonderful, exciting new places, like reading a book,” Stephen Ward explained last night to girlfriend Susan Gleeson, “but I don’t have time to read every new writer, ok?”

PhD student Gleeson (25), had simply inquired if ‘previously owned car’ salesman Ward (31), still hadn’t started the book she’d given him for his birthday six months earlier.

“Once Room by Emma O’Donoghue gets made into a hit movie,” he explained sarcastically, “I’m sure I’ll devour it in one sitting?”

Ward hung up after a further touchy defence of his claim to be “a good old fashioned bibliophile”.

As he slumped back onto the sofa, he found himself fondly recalling how good it felt to tell an attractive woman that his favourite way to relax was to “curl up with a bloody good book”.

And how it stands to reason that if you really need to pull, it’s only right that you’re allowed claim to be a “‘lover of the written word”.