May Won’t Countenance Dividing The UK, The Way The UK Divided Ireland

Prime minister Teresa May yesterday reminded her party’s annual conference that when it comes to partition, Britain’s too bloody good for that sort of thing.

Speaking at the Walking Dead-themed get together, she addressed an audience located predominantly at an advanced stage of spongiform encephalopathy.

May said she stood shoulder-to-shoulder with DUP leader Arlene Foster on partition.

Afterwards Foster spoke of her party’s so called ‘red line’, saying “the red line is blood red”.

Majority rule is a sacred principle, she added, with the exception of NI’s minority position within the UK as a whole and/or, the inevitable loss of a Protestant majority in the north in the near future.

She also said that the DUP would invite Michael Gove, the man who describes the peace process as a “moral stain”, to join them in praying for the PM.