“Mexico Has Stopped Sending Rapists,” Trump Says, “So Border Deal Unnecessary”

“Mexico is no longer sending rapists,” Donald Trump said yesterday, reversing his infamous 2015 claim. “Mexico is now sending people that don’t have problems. People that aren’t bringing drugs or crime. Everyone is saying it.”

“So we don’t need to give Biden a win on this one? Because I promise you this. I will do the best border deal ever. Everyone will love my deal.”

“I speak to border guards and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes common sense. It only makes common sense. They’re sending us the right people now. So no deal. No border deal.”

“The border package doesn’t even come close to securing the border,” Sen. Stinking Pile of Crap (R-Texas) said, “it’s a complete Ted Cruz!”

“Again with this loco hijo de puta?!“, a statement from the Mexican Embassy said which ended with an old Mexican proverb: ‘No flies enter a closed mouth’.”

Sen. James Lankford (R-Okla.), the GOP’s lead negotiator on pairing immigration reform with assistance to Ukraine said “Four months ago we wanted this deal but now we’re saying we don’t because…it’s a presidential election year?”

Mitch McConnell urged senators to reject the deal, saying “Let the perfect be the enemy of the good”.