Minister Has Nothing Left To Hide Because “The Bloody Media” Have Seen To That

Minister Robert Troy addressed the media this evening with a statement designed to clear the foul air emanating from his property portfolio. “I have absolutely nothing to hide,” he snapped, “because you lot have already seen to that!”

After a brief pause, he continued. “You’ve all been demanding I sing like a bird, so that’s just what I’m going to do. Some of you may know the lyrics, feel free to join in?” At that point, the backing track to a familiar ABBA tune began to play over the public address system in Buswell’s Hotel.

“I’m nothing special,” the minister sang, “in fact I’m a bit of a bore
If I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing
My property interests are totally bling

I’m so grateful and proud
All I want is to sing it out loud”.

The press were open mouthed as he built to the chorus and then began ‘high kicking’ along to the music.

“So I say thank you for the moolah, the till is ringing
Thanks for all the joy it’s bringing
Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a con or a scam, what are we?
So I say thank you for the moolah
For giving it to me”.

Afterwards the media remained so flabbergasted, the minister had plenty of time to slip away while doing ‘jazz hands’.