Mitch McConnell Starting To Look Like He’s Starring In Weekend At Bernie’s

“It’s certainly true,” a republican strategist admitted yesterday, “that the televised ‘zone-outs’ Mitch keeps having during his own press conferences, are starting to draw increasing speculation. But more to the point, they’re giving Joe Biden ironclad cover against accusations he’s too old to run for re-election next year?”

He was speaking moments after Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell, for the second time in just over a month, froze with his mouth open while speaking to reporters.

“I mean, how do we make fun of an 80 year old president who still appears to be in full control of his faculties without mocking an 81 year old man who doesn’t?”

“Jesus,” he whispered as he replayed the footage, “he looks like he’s trying to catch flies”.

“He looks,” a colleague offered, “like he’s starring in Weekend At Bernie’s?”

After that realisation sank in, an argument broke out over what the 1989 movie’s tagline had been. Eventually they got the intern to google it and read it aloud.

“He may be dead but he’s still the life of the party!”