No Animals Harmed During Making Of Movie But Three Barbecued Shortly Afterwards

At the wrap barbecue for Charlotte’s Web, producer Jordan Kerner confirmed that none of the trio of ‘adorably cute’ piglets used to portray Wilbur – the porcine star of the movie – had been harmed in any way.

“But afterwards,” he continued, “they were knocked unconscious with a  stun gun before being quickly strung up by the legs and stabbed a couple of times with an 8 to 10 inch blade? That was to allow them to bleed out into a bucket? Preferably a pretty big one because they swing about a heck of a lot, what with all the twitching they’re still doing? It’s really kinda interesting.”

“But I’d like to stress the fact that I treated them like my very own children,” the producer explained, “right up until the moment I didn’t? I think it’s important to put that on the record.”

“Never mind those animal rights nutters outside the gate,” he grinned at Beau Bridges, as he scoffed a second juicy helping of one of the piglets.

“Adorably tender,’ Bridges moaned, as he chewed.