Nobody Cares Where Journalist Bought First Album

A new poll has found that a mere 3% of the public care where newspaper journalists bought their first vinyl album. However, since the results are accurate to plus or minus three percent, it’s a distinct possibility that absolutely nobody cares where the purchase occurred.

In any case, the nation is ‘intensely relaxed’ about the details, including any mention of how delighted the journalists were, after running home to play it in their bedrooms.

These findings are matched only by an equally tremendous lack of interest in how much older, wiser, balder and/or fatter, they are now.

But most people (98%) also said it doesn’t matter how little the public care about the subject because any journalist writing this boring, repetitive drivel, is still a racing certainty to be asked onto a chat show to tell their story “in person”.