Chronic Attention-Seeker Unfulfilled By Global Scrutiny

Shitsack MP Barry McElduff, a chronic attention-seeker who has finally achieved the level of international recognition he has always sought, remains puzzled by the empty feeling it produced.

“It definitely didn’t make me any happier,” he said.

Last week the West Tyrone MP’s tweet, appearing to celebrate a sectarian massacre, was universally condemned.

“I should have paid more heed to the guidelines on internet safety?” McElduff mused. “They warn you not to reveal too much about yourself on social media…”